Third trimester survival and prepping for L&D

Third Trimester and Preparing for Labor and Delivery 

Congrats you made it to the final trimester!! You are getting so close to meeting your baby. At this point your baby will finish developing and be more focused on growth. 

Things to do in early third trimester 

Bump Pictures 

If you haven't been taking bump pictures so far but want to start now is the time. This last trimester is the time of the most growth.  Here are my bump pictures from the start and the end of the third trimester- it was a lot of change in those few weeks! 

Preparing your body for labor and delivery: Expecting and Empowered 

During my pregnancy I did a lot of research on how to prepare my body for labor, delivery and healing postpartum. In the first and second trimesters I did a lot of yoga but I knew as I moved into my third that I should focus more on my pelvic floor. I came across this workout program called "Expecting and Empowered" it is a program designed specifically to prepare your body for labor and delivery and they have a postpartum healing workout program as well. It was created by two sisters- one is a pelvic floor physical therapist and the other is a labor and delivery RN. It has 3 workouts a week that are roughly 20-30 minutes total in length. I found the program to be very helpful and it wasn't too much of a commitment. 

As I got towards the end of my pregnancy I was recommend to do "spinning babies" exercises (see below) and I realized that the expecting and empowered had built in alot of the spinning babies exercises into their workout plan- so I was already doing it and didn't know it. Score!

Did I still tear? Yes, but I always assumed I would. But I felt like the program really helped prepare my body for the work of labor. I also liked that I was able to do an exercise program that worked my body but wasn't high intensity cardio. 

Deep clean your house 

Consider this the last time this is going to happen for a while. You will have the instinct already might as well act on it. In the month leading up to giving birth I slowly went through every room in my house and decluttered and deep cleaned. Now not every room stayed that way for long but it helped me feel more relaxed and ready. This was also semi motivated by that fact that I knew I would have people coming to visit postpartum and I wanted my house to be semi-nice. 

Consider taking a caring for baby and breastfeeding class if applicable 

Unless you work with infants on a regular basis I would highly recommend taking a class WITH your partner! My husband and I are both nurses and we took one and still found it helpful-because taking care of an infant is different than taking care of old people. There are tons of classes at a variety of price points. We did a virtual class which was just a set of videos and we just watched a video a day together. We found it to be super helpful in preparing us for what to expect and helped facilitate some discussions as to how we wanted to parent together. 

If you plan on breast feeding I would also recommend taking a breast feeding course with your partner. Even though you are doing the actual "feeding" part it's important for your partner to know whats going on and how to best help and support you. I felt that taking the class helped me in the hospital because I already knew how to position him and help him latch correctly and thus be successful in the first few days. 

 Prepare for how to handle visitors 

Have a conversation with your partner about visitors in the postpartum ahead of time. Some topics include:  

1. Do you want people to come to the hospital? 

 Honestly I would recommend no- or if you do limiting it to a few people (like just grandparents or something and just for a little bit of time). Listen the honest truth is there are going to be a ton of people in an out of your room all day- doctors, nurses, lactation consultants etc. This is your time to get the supervised help that you need from the professionals. Also they have to be checking your bleeding and your uterus- do you really want to be examined like that in front of your father in law? You might get some negative feedback from this decision but it's good to have this conversation in advance and tell people your decision in advance. 

2. How do you want to handle people at your house? 

- Do you want people staying at your house? I made a rule that if you want to come in from out of town to meet the baby within the first 6 weeks of his life that you have to stay at an air bnb. We have a guest room so this did ruffle some feathers but I am SO GLAD that I made this rule. Especially in the first few weeks when we were learning how to be parents it was nice to just be able to sleep when we needed to and for me to walk around in a bra if I needed to and not worry about making sure we had enough dishes and food for everyone and that things were picked up. Also there were some nights where my baby screamed like a velociraptor and I would be super concerned that I was waking people. 

3. How long do you want people to visit for? 

Some one suggested to me to make visiting hours- I think this would be a great idea if you have alot of people wanting to visit that live around you. Giving a time limit is a polite way of not letting people overstay their welcome. 

4. Do you want them to wear masks, kiss the baby etc? 

Again this is all parental preference but it's nice to be on the same page before baby is born. You will have people that disagree and push your boundaries (like kiss your baby when they think you aren't looking) so it's good to have rules in place ahead of time. 

5. What do you want to do about breast feeding while guests are present? 

This is all based on the guests and your comfort level. Personally I'm kind of a prude so I would just excuse myself with the baby (who was usually crying at this point so most people weren't too upset that I was taking him away) and go up to my bedroom and breastfeed there. However had it been a really good friend of mine or something I would just have fed him in the living room. It is all based on your comfort level but it's good to have a plan in place with your partner so you guys are on the same page. I did have a somewhat awkward situation where our neighbor was over and my baby needed to eat and I politely said "I'm going to take him upstairs and feed him" and she was like "you can just feed him down here" thankfully my husband was supportive and made and excuse saying "We've already got everything set up upstairs so it's just easier" 

Cash in on registry discounts and get the rest of the stuff that you need for baby 

For Amazon and babylist you receive a discount coupon for anything on your registry when you are 60 days away from your due date. Here's my pro tip for the amazon registry- make a list of everything you need- including postpartum stuff and add it to your registry if it's not already on there. Amazon doesn't give the discount to everything but it did give me a discount for a lot of postpartum items (like pads, tucks, ibuprofen etc). You have to add it to your cart from your registry to get the discount. In the end it was a nice way to save money on stuff that I was already going to buy. 

Create diaper, breastfeeding and postpartum stations in your house 

First of all pre-pack your diaper bag. You will have to go to the pediatricians office within the first few days after coming home and it is nice in your sleep deprived state to have the bag already packed with diapers wipes and extra clothes so you can just grab it and go. 

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Pro tip: put some pads in your diaper bag for you in case you have to be out longer than expected immediately postpartum (unfortunately speaking from experience on this one) 

Diaper Stations: 

We have a two story house so we decided to have a diaper station upstairs in the nursery and downstairs in our living room. You can find some cute diaper storage baskets on amazon that "blend in" a little more with your house. In those I put diapers, wipes, diaper cream and a changing pad for the downstairs basket. I liked this way it was all contained and I just reload them with supplies as needed. 

Postpartum stations: 

I'm going to dive more deeply into this in my postpartum blogpost but I decided I wanted two postpartum stations in my house. I got two plastic containers from ikea (but you could also get them from the dollar store or wherever) and put all my postpartum supplies in them. I created one for my half bath downstairs and my master bath upstairs. In the end I just ended up using the master bath one because we had a lot of visitors in the beginning and I thought it was easier to just contain all those items to the master bathroom upstairs. 

Pro tip: If you have a small trash can in your bathroom plan on stealing a larger trash can  from somewhere in your house to put in your bathroom for the first two weeks postpartum. You will go through a lot of pads and it's just easier to have a big trash can to put them in so you're not taking the trash out constantly. 

Breastfeeding Basket:

Again I'm going to dive deeper into this in my postpartum blog but I wanted to touch on it here as well. A lot of people recommended a breast feeding cart to me but I have a two story house and I didn't really want to be carrying the cart up and down the stairs so I opted for a basket to store all my stuff in. First of all decide where you think you will breast feed the most- I picked my living room couch, the rocker in the nursery and my bed. 

In addition to the breastfeeding basket you should also open your breast pump, sterilize all the pump parts and become familiar with how it works. There are plenty of youtube videos that give reviews and walk you through how to properly use the pump. It's nice to be familiar with it ahead of time when you've had a full night sleep 

Pro tip- this sounds weird but if you have a two story house or just a long house consider getting a small mini fridge to put in your room- or wherever you plan on doing night nursing and/or pumping. It is so nice at 2am to put milk from your pump or haaka in the fridge next to your bed rather than take it all the way downstairs when you are exhausted and just want to go back to sleep. 

Last month of pregnancy 36 weeks and onward 

Meal Prep 

We planned roughly 12 meals and had a friend take us to Costco for some bulk items. We (by we I mean my husband because I can barely make toast) pre-made all the meals as much as possible and then stored them in our deep freeze. We did mostly crock pot meals because that is what we are used to doing for work but we also did one or two casseroles. This was super helpful and lasted us the first month of postpartum. Often my husband would make one of the crockpot meals  about every 3 days and then we would eat it for dinner that night and then we had leftovers for lunch or dinner for the next few days (often we had leftovers from other prepped meals still in the fridge to have some variety. 

This eliminates a lot of stress of trying to meal plan when you're exhausted and limits your needs to go to the grocery store.  I found a lot of good recipes on pinterest and we tried them ahead of time before we made them as a freezer meal. 

In addition to meals we also tried to get a bunch of snacks to have on hand as well- we did a combination of healthy and not as  healthy. 

Pack your hospital bag

I didn't want to do a whole blog post about this because I feel like there are a million other blog posts, youtube videos etc. but I did want to touch on a few things that I found helpful. 

-Snacks-

I cannot emphasize this enough. You know who the hospital does not care about at all- the partner/father. And yeah I get it you're the mom in labor and you could care less that your husband might be hungry when you are focused on pushing out a watermelon but just trust me bring snacks. Thankfully I gave my husband some heads up about this and he went on a snack shopping trip and had them pre-packed with the hospital bag. Not gonna lie- I also profited from this snack trip- and I ordered a ton a food from room service at the hospital but I was also just starving! It was nice to just have food in the room because I didn't really want my husband to leave for long periods of time during labor or postpartum. 

-My thoughts on your own hospital gown- 

I know it's super trendy now to bring your own gown. Someone gifted me one at my shower. I ended up wearing a hospital gown during L&D and then changing into the gifted gown postpartum. The main reason that I did this was because I started to think about it and I realized "I don't want to clean that gown after I've given birth in it". By all means if you want to wear your own gown wear your own gown but just be prepared that it will get blood and all kinds of bodily fluids all over it. It was nice to have it postpartum with breast feeding and fundus checks 

- Other random things that were nice to have: 

My own shower stuff- it felt so nice to take a shower after giving birth

Long charging cord for phone- you are going to be getting so many phone calls, texts etc and sending pictures. Plus from working in the hospitals I know that they put plugs in the worst possible places so the more cord the better- I brought a 10 ft one 

You're going to want to go home in basically sweatpants- remember that you'll basically be in a diaper. Although you've just lost a good 10-15lbs you'll still look 6 months pregnant so a baggy shirt of some sort will also be good too.  Also even though I gave birth in July I brought a sweatshirt to wear in the hospital because hospital's are notoriously freezing. 

One thing I learned before I went to the hospital is that typically if you ask politely they will do footprints for your when they are doing your child's footprints for their legal records. I had a pregnancy/baby book that had a section for footprints that I brought with me and asked the nurse if she would do them for the book while she was doing them for charting. She was very nice about it and it is fun to have them in the book. Plus these people do these on a regular basis so you have a better shot getting better footprints rather than having you and your partner try to do the later. 

Something I wish I would've brought and will bring if I have another child- my own peri-bottle that has an angle. The ones they give you at the hospital are not great and I made a huge mess every time I went to the bathroom. The one I got for home use  was angled and was so much easier to use: Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081ZH2XHB?ref=nb_sb_ss_w_as-reorder-t1_ypp_rep_k0_1_5&amp&crid=31D8I5VYX5QQQ&amp&sprefix=peri+

Install the car seat and learn how to use your stroller 

Around 36 weeks you want to install your car seat because technically your baby could come at any time. You'll want to be familiar with your car seat before you try to shove a screaming infant into it so take time to practice and mess around with it. We used a stuffed animal and practiced installing them in the car seat. 

Make sure you have someone check your installation. Many local fire departments have a specific person that does checks. Make sure you contact them in advance though- don't just show up at your fire department and expect them to be able to inspect it. Our local children's hospital had a representative that we were able to video chat with. This ended up being really great for us because we were able to get advice on installing the car seat in both of our cars 

You'll want to bring your car seat with you to the hospital when you go to have the baby. Most hospitals will also have you show them that you know how to use it. Don't worry if you are not 100% sure- they will help you but it is nice to have an idea how it works ahead of time. 

I would also recommend using this time to become familiar with your stroller- how to open and close it etc. We got a travel system where the stroller clicked into the car seat so we practiced doing that. 

Spend some quality time with your partner

This is the last month that it will be just the two of you if you are a first time mom. It's hard to do alot of activities in your last month of pregnancy but we tried to do a few date nights knowing it would be a while before we would leave the house as "just us" again. 

Sterilize/ clean things ahead of time 

Pull out your breast pump and sterilize all the parts. I also sterilized all the pacifiers and teether toys ahead of time and then just put them in a ziploc bag.  I assumed that any "toys" that he received would be put in his mouth at some point to I pre-cleaned with disinfectant. 

Now at the end of the day all a newborn baby really needs is diapers, wipes, some clothes, ability to eat and you. You do not have to have a pinterest worthy nursery set up or everything perfect. All of this is suggestions that I found helpful. You will still be ok and successful without getting everything completed. 

Last weeks of pregnancy 38 weeks and onward- aka "How to get this child out of me!" 

Telling people the due date 

Now I probably should've put this back in the first trimester section but this was something that happened to me at the end of my third trimester so that's why I put it in this blog post. 

One thing I didn't really realize is that as a first time mom there is a very high chance that you are going to be pregnant past your due date unless you are having complications and they schedule you for a C-section or induction. I didn't really expect him to be born on his due date but I assumed I would have him either at 39 weeks or a day or two after my due date. I ended up being almost a week late and I was not a happy camper. 

One of the main reasons that I was not happy was that so many people were concerned that I was so far past my due date. In reality being a week late isn't bad- for the baby at least- I was pretty miserable at this point. It's not until you get in weeks 41 and 42 that you start having potential complications. The whole experience made me re-evaluate how many people I should actually tell the "due date" to in future pregnancies. I think next time I will just say "the baby is due in mid July" just because people get super fixated on a date. 

How do I get this child out of me??? 

The honest truth is barring medical intervention there is no "magic trick". If your baby is not ready to come they aren't ready. As a nurse practitioner I've come to terms with there are things about initiating labor that we are just unaware of. We don't have a full grasp on everything the body does to start the process- and I find it rather humbling- but it's also rather frustrating. 

I had been feeling pretty well throughout my entire pregnancy but at the end of 39 and into 40 weeks I really just felt miserable. I wasn't sleeping well because he was so big and so active, the only place I could sit in my house was on a bouncy ball and I was just tired and ready to meet my baby. I tried many things to try to coax him out- but eventually he came on his home time (thankfully before my scheduled induction).

That being said- here is a list of things I tried and the science behind them. I don't think any one thing worked- again I think it was probably a combination 

Membrane Sweep/Strip

This is done at your doctors office by a medical profession- they can also check your cervix dilation at this point as well. Your cervix needs to be dilated at least 1cm in order for them to perform the sweep. Basically they use their finger to separate the amniotic sac from the uterine lining. This initiates prostaglandin production which has been shown to to help initiate labor. This procedure is completely optional and can be painful. My advice is just to take a deep breath through it. Often you will spot after this procedure is done (Pro tip: bring a light pad to the doctors office if you know you are having this done). Also it typically causes cramping similar to period cramps so you may want to plan on going straight home after your appointment. 

Birth/ Exercise Ball, Spinning babies and the Miles circut

As you get to the end of your pregnancy I would recommend getting an exercise ball. At the end of my pregnancy this was the only thing that I could comfortably sit on in my house and it was a godsend. It is nice because it opens up your hips which helps baby descend lower into your pelvis and can help relive aches and pains associated with your baby putting pressure on your body. 

I would also recommend researching spinning babies- this is a series of exercises that can help correctly position the baby for optimal delivery (and optimal comfort while you wait for delivery). Some of their stuff is more geared toward breech babies but they have a lot of stuff for non breech babies as well. I particularly liked the inversion because my baby put a lot of pressure on my hips. 

Another activity to make you more comfortable at the end of your pregnancy at help align baby correctly for birth is the miles circut. This takes 1.5 hours to complete so most people don't have that amount of time on their hands. It is laying in two specific positions for a half hour each- (honestly I just listened to a podcast during this time and then a half hour of exercise. I liked the second position alot because I felt like it helped open my pelvis alot and it gave my baby more room and thus made me more comfortable. 

Other activities: 

Have Sex- yes this one is awkward and really the last thing you feel like doing. But I was surprised to learn that there is some science behind this. Semen is a natural source of prostaglandins which can help ripen the cervix for labor. Also Oxytocin- one of the hormones secreted during sex is also responsible for uterine contractions. 

Go for a walk- ughhh so many people told me to do this and I was so over it- but I did go on a alot of walks my last two weeks of pregnancy. Again the science behind this is that it helps open your pelvis and allows baby's head to put pressure on your cervix. I went on a 3 mile hike on my due date and still nothing but it's not crazy to think that it could help. Don't overdo it though- you're already going to be tired. 

What not to say

This is just for fun- towards the end of my pregnancy when I was quite irritable I was starting to get super annoyed at the things people would say to me so I started making a list of what not to say to a pregnant woman. All of these things were actually said to me by at least one person if not more:

1. How are you feeling? I never knew how to respond to this one- do people actually want a true answer or do they just want "fine" like when you politely ask how are you to someone? I usually just responded "pregnant" 

2. Are you ready? Again I was never sure how to respond. The best thing I can compare preparing for your first child is like preparing for a hurricane. You know something crazy is coming and you do your best to prepare for it but in the end its just a lot of praying and hoping that you survive.  

3. You're getting so big! Really?!? Thanks- just what every women who doesn't feel comfortable in her constantly changing body wants to hear. Again-not sure how to respond. 

4. Sleep while you can. Ughh this drove me insane. Because the thing that is going to cause me not to sleep is literally inside of me having a party at 2am. Also sleeping is not like a savings account where you can just store it up for later. Worst advice ever. 

5. Are you sure the baby is not dead in there? Context for this one- I was 3 days late and someone was concerned that I was sooo late that the baby would be dead. Just no. Just don't ever say anything like this to someone who is pregnant- it is not helpful.