Surviving postpartum- the 4th Trimester

 

Welcome to the 4th Trimester- the trimester than no one really talks about 

Congratulations! You've just had your baby- welcome to the 4th trimester. I think it's important to consider the first few weeks/month of postpartum as an additional part of pregnancy. Because although you are not growing a baby inside of you you are still actively keeping a needy tiny human alive by providing for their every need and your body is in an active state of healing. This can be a really joyous time but also a really stressful time. Here are some things that helped me survive this time peroid. 

Things to help heal your body 

Now I've only had a vaginal delivery so I cannot speak for C-Section birth but these are things that I found helped me heal postpartum. I also had a 2nd degree tear 

One thing that is different to this bleeding from normal period bleeding is to expect to have a few clots. This is normal as long as they are not bigger than a plum. Also the bleeding should change color and get lighter over time- and transition to a white color. 

Creating a postpartum peri-care kit in your bathroom 

The first few weeks you are going to bleed a fair amount. I was actually shocked that mine was not as much as a normal peroid for me, but it was fairly intermittent. With the bleeding you are going to want to keep that area clean-especially if you had a tear or other trauma. 

This is what I had in my peri-care kit:

-Pads- I just did overnight ones or super absorbant ones- really because I bought them ahead of time and didn't know quite what to expect. They worked out fine for me. I've heard of people buying depends underwear- but I think that would be a bit excessive personally. 

- Tucks- these are little circles of wipes moistened with witch hazel which is a natural cooling and anti-inflammatory agent 

-Dermaplast- I did buy this but I didn't end up using the one I bought. The one they gave me from the hospital lasted the entire duration I needed. So perhaps hold off. 

-Peri bottle- specifically one that is angled. The one they give you at the hospital is terrible- I made such a huge bloody mess in the bathroom at the hospital everytime because it just squirted everywhere but where it was supposed to. 

-Postpartum underwear- I was hesitant to buy this but I'm glad I did. I only got 5 pairs which was plenty for me. I liked that these gave me a little more support but weren't as huge as the ones they give you at the hospital. I packed a pair in my hospital bag to go home in as well. 

I kept it all (except the underwear which in hindsight I should've) in a plastic bin in my master bathroom. I originally made two (one for upstairs and one for downstairs) but I found that I just preferred to just use my master bathroom exclusively while I was home. 

Pro tip: The first two weeks or so you are going to go through a lot pads (sorry environment). Because of this I brought a larger trash can from elsewhere in our house and used it in the bathroom so that I wasn't constantly filling (and having to empty) our small bathroom trash can 

Medications that can help 

Now obviously if your doctor tell you do to something different do that but this is just my general advice. 

For postpartum pain rotate between Tylenol and Ibuprofen. I used the 200mg Ibuprofen because then I could slowly wean myself down. Just be careful not to exceed 4000mg of Tylenol in a 24 hour period or 3200mg of Ibuprofen in a 24 hour period. Rather than take both at the same time take one and then a few hours later take the other. This ensures that as one is starting to wear off another is building up in your system and/or peaking so that way your pain relief is more consistent. 

Continue taking your prenatal vitamins- these are helpful with breast feeding 

Colace is your new best friend. This can be purchased over the counter and is a great stool softener. Trust me you are going to want things to be soft!  There's no specific rule for how long to take colace- it's mostly based on your comfort. Honestly I took mine for 3 weeks mostly because I was scared to go off of it. I would err on the side of longer rather than shorter. I would avoid taking anything with laxative qualities during this time. I took two a day for the first two weeks and then I decreased it to one a day for a week before stopping.

Should I make padsciles? 

Honestly- I vote no. I did- mostly because it was all over pinterest and I felt like I should. Thankfully I only made 10 and most of them I pitched. Honestly they were super cold when I applied them which was uncomfortable and then they didn't stay cold for very long because my body warmed them up. Once they were warmed up they got all soupy and made me feel like I peed myself. If you can get some of the padsciles from the hospital- the ones with the cracking icepack. These I found helpful because they maintained their temperature longer. Also during this time my midwife informed me that the ice really only has benefits in the first 24-48 hours postpartum anyway. 

Instead of padsciles I found that tucks worked great for the cooling sensation I desired without making it feel like I peed myself. Next time I will just stick with the tucks. 

Other random information that I discovered postpartum 

You are going to diruriese  (aka lose all the fluid you took on in pregnancy) ALOT- and in more ways than you thought. Majority of it will happen in the first few days but it also a gradual process. 

Some things I recommend:

1. Put yourself on a pee schedule- One thing I learned is that while I was very aware of how full my bladder was when I was pregnant I somewhat lost this sensation immediately postpartum. That plus diruresing plus weakened pelvic floor equals a few instances of accidentally peeing myself. In order to get this sensation back I put myself on a pee schedule. Basically right before I fed my baby I would go to the bathroom so that I was consistently going every 2 hours or so. This got better with time but it was something that caught me by surprise. 

2. Be prepared for night sweats- also caught me off guard. This only happened a few times to me but I would just wake up soaked. Thankfully I have an extra pair of sheets and my husband would just change them while I was feeding the baby. Again this is how your body gets rid of the extra fluid. It caught me off guard that the majority of my night sweats happened week 3-4  postpartum not right away. I guess it can take your body a while to get all the fluid off 

3. Be prepared for tears- yes another way to get rid of the fluid but also remember your hormones are all being "reset" as your body adapts to not being pregnant. I'm typically not a big cryer- but I can honestly say I have never cried so many times in my life as I did the first month postpartum. Literally in my brain I would be like "this isn't sad why am I crying?" I'm pretty sure I cried every day the first week postpartum and then it slowly less and less. I would also just look at my baby sometimes and think "he's so perfect" and then I'd be sobbing (literally tearing up as I write this). During this time I tried to avoid sad things ( like books or movies where dogs die) just to not add to my misery. Obviously pay attention to yourself during this time- it's normal to cry alot and be sad but it's also not normal to be depressed. 

Download an app to track your baby 

My husband and I use huckleberry which we really like but there are plenty of other ones out there so find one that works for you. Listen the first seven days of a newborns life a crucial to track their peeing, pooping and feeding. Your pedatrician will ask you and it is important to be accurate so that if something is wrong they can intervene. Get the app because you will not remember- you will be so tired and not have a great grasp on the day. You could also theoretically just write this down but it is nice to have the app because then you can just pull out your phone when they ask. 

I also liked tracking feeds for breast feeding because I would literally forget the last time that I fed my baby. My husband and I would literally ask each other a million times a day "what time did he eat last?" and it was nice to pull out the app and it would tell us. 

Don't bother tracking the sleep in the newborn stage- it will just depress you and they don't really follow a great schedule anyway. 

Pro tip for huckleberry- make one account and sign into it on both you and your partners phones- that way he can input stuff and it will show up on your phone as well. 

Prioritize time for you and your partner 

Everyday that we were home together my husband and I tried to prioritize our time when the baby was asleep in this order:

1. If one or both of us wanted to take a nap. We would try to take individual naps away from the baby because then if he woke up early the awake parent could sit with him and rock until it was time to eat giving the sleeping parent more time of uninterrupted naps. If we napped together we would just put the baby in the bassinet in the room with us- but often he woke us up early. 

2. Individual time for each of us to do something that we want to get done that day without judgement from the other one. Sometimes it was clean the house or work on a project. Other times it was resting or just taking time away from the baby. Or just taking a long shower. 

3. Doing something together- with the baby on the monitor or in eyesight but sleeping (mostly). Either playing a game, watching a movie going for a walk. 

4. House cleaning/projects. Needless to say we weren't super productive during this time- but thats ok. 

I feel like this was huge for staying semi-rested and sane during this time. It often required sacrifice on both of our parts. It was an adjustment at first because we almost had to ask each other permission for things like "Can I take a long shower today?" and we would make it a priority to build into our day. 

Things that can help you feel better after a rough night 

"This is sooo temporary". 

I told myself this mantra so many times in the first month postpartum. Anytime my baby was super fussy or had a rough night or was going through a cluster feeding phase and I felt like I couldn't do it I would say this to myself. Honestly it's the truth-it's all temporary because your baby grows and changes so fast. And if it's not temporary then maybe you need a professional to help look into it. 

Showering 

Being clean just helps me wake up and feel better. Even if I know I'm going to be re-covered in spit up and breast milk shortly thereafter just being clean for a few minutes can help. 

Going for a walk

I find that fresh air does me a world of difference. Take your baby and go for a walk- it doesn't have to be super far, just around the block can help clear your head and reset yourself to have a better day after a rough night. 

Doing something that was a part of your old routine 

This may sound strange to some but every morning prior to having a baby I would get up and make coffee and do dishes, load/unload my dishwasher, clean the kitchen and listen to my daily news podcast. It was always my quiet time to myself and let me prepare myself for the day. Whenever I have a rough night I try to have my husband take the baby and I go down and listen to my podcast and clean the kitchen. It makes me feel a little bit like my old self and helps me stay grounded. 

Things that can help with a fussy baby and you've ruled out hunger and diaper 

-Change environments- go outside if possible. Sometimes just going out on my back patio would be just enough to get him to calm down enough that I could get him to settle and go to sleep 

-Check for hair trapped around their fingers and toes- this is a real thing where your hair can cut off circulation. Also you'd be surprised what babies can hide in the creases of their fingers 

-Baby wear- Watch a video on how to use a wrap or a sling (theres a ton on youtube) and walk around the house with them strapped to you. This allows you to get things done (not everything but you can do a lot)  and they like being close to you so they will calm down. Often times I would have to spend the first few minutes walking and bouncing to get him to calm down so I would make a game out of it and try to put things away that had been scattered around my house 

- Run the vaccuum or something that makes loud white noise. Either hold them or put them in a safe space and turn it on. The point it to be louder than them. The white noise reminds them of the womb and helps them feel safe.