Things I wish I knew about breastfeeding

What I wish I knew about breastfeeding before I had my baby

 Before I had my baby I felt like everyone kept telling me "breastfeeding is hard" and I would be like "um ok great- what makes it hard??" and people really didn't have a great answer for me. So once I got into the thick of it and figured out why it can be hard I decided to make this blogpost sharing the things I wish someone would've explained to me ahead of time. 

My little one day old baby falling asleep on me after cluster feeding 

1. All about Cluster feeding 

The biggest thing I feel like no one told me about was cluster feeding and I was somewhat blindsighted by it so I wanted to address it here and help others. 

What is cluster feeding?- Cluster feeding is when your baby demands feeding more frequently than the typical every 2 hours or so. Often it begins in the evening and can go until the middle of the night. Biologically it is the baby telling your body to amp up the milk production because they will need more in the near future.  

What cluster feeding is not-  Cluster feeding does not mean that you are not making enough milk. First of all your breasts are never truly empty-despite how you may feel. Often cluster feeding makes women doubt their milk supply but this is not true. If you baby is making enough wet/poopy diapers for their age you are making enough milk. Again your baby is telling your body that you will need to make more milk soon. 

When does cluster feeding occur. The good news is that cluster feeding is predictable. 

Night of Day 2 of life- This is to bring in your milk supply and transition from colostrum to milk. This one can be especially hard because you are typically crashing from the adrenaline high of giving brith by this point. 

Between 7-10 days of life- This is because babies have a major growth spurt around the 2 week mark and require more milk 

Around 6 weeks, then 3 months and 6months- these are all major growth spurt times. 

Should I supplement with formula if I am breastfeeding during cluster feeding- NO- or try not to. As much as cluster feeding sucks giving formula will not fix the problem. Again your baby is not starving (despite how they are acting) rather they are placing orders to your body for milk that they will need in a few days. They are biologically set up to do this- it's not personal and they aren't starving. 

Things that can help with cluster feeding 

1. Recognizing what it is and why it's occurring. Knowing what is happening will reduce your anxiety. Because I knew it was coming around 7-10 days I was less anxious about my milk supply and recognized that this is a normal thing and my little baby was about to grow (sob!)

2. Set up a space where you are comfortable breastfeeding for a while. You should already have this but it can be nice if you want to add some extra comforts- like being able to watch movies or something, extra pillows, blankets, water, snacks etc. 

3. When you get to a point where you can't take it it is ok to hand your baby off for a little bit. I specifically remember handing my husband the baby at 3 am and just saying "I just need an hour" I just needed to go to the bathroom and lay down for an hour. It's not great to do this for several hours- again you baby is telling your body a message- but if you get to a breaking point it is more healthy to take a break. 

4. As long as you follow safe sleep guidelines for breastfeeding it is ok to breastfeed and co-sleep. I know this is controversial but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I don't love co-sleeping, honestly it makes me anxious but when you're that exhausted and this is only way they will not cry. This type of co-sleeping allowed him to nurse, fall asleep, wake up and nurse again and allow me to sleep during the nursing times as well. At the end of the day do what is comfortable for you but know there is science behind it. 

Source: https://www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/

2. It's normal for breastfeeding to hurt- initially

Breastfeeding can be painful the first two weeks as your nipples and breasts get adjusted to this new function. Specifically when baby initially latches can be quite painful. One of the best pieces of advice that I received during this time was to count to 10 when they latch and take a deep breath. I tried to think of this time as my nipples developing "calluses" like how guitar players have it from playing. Something that helped me was nipple butter-it's essentially chapstick for nipples. I put it on all the time and it is safe for baby so you don't have to worry about wiping it off before you nurse.  

Another issue that causes pain in the first two weeks is your milk coming in and engorgement. The best way to help relieve engorgement is to feed your baby and let them empty your breast. If you've done this and you are still painful I would recommend ice packs- stay away from heat in this stage it can make things worse. Also try to avoid pumping because that might fix your problem in the short term but long term can cause an oversupply. Oversupply sounds like a great thing and a slight one is- but a major oversupply causes a lot issues for both mom and baby so try not to do that. If you absolutely have to pump don't do a whole session- pump only for comfort. 

3. If breastfeeding is hurting after two weeks or constantly through the entire feeding you should reach out for help 

Pain constantly throughout the entire feeding is indicative of a poor latch and trust me it's only going to get worse. There are some quick fixes you can make that might potentially help fix the problem. These include looking at baby's position when feeding and making sure they have their mouth open big enough when they go to latch. If you've looked at these things and the issue isn't getting better reach out for help to a lactation consultant. This pain can also be indicative of a lip or tongue tie causing a poor latch. 

4. When in doubt fix the lip or tongue tie 

When my baby was diagnosed with a lip tie I spent a lot of time researching lip and tongue ties and there is some controversy about whether they should be fixed.  The first thing I learned from talking with people is how incredibly common they are but they aren't really flagged as something to look out for. There are different classes or severities of lip and tongue ties and depending on the severity is a debate about whether it should be fixed or not. My thought process is- if it is causing a problem, such as painful feeding, baby not gaining enough weight, blisters on the lips then fix it. I read multiple blogs about mom's not getting it fixed and it either ruining their breastfeeding journey or one I read used prescription pain ointment for months and this to me made no sense. If a lip or tongue tie is severe enough to causes issues with feeding as an infant it will most likely cause issues as a toddler with speech. Speaking from experience as a medical professional- it is so much easier to get something fixed as an infant rather than try to do it to a toddler. 

5. Babies are handsie! 

This kind of took my by surprise- but I'm not sure what I truly expected. It is important to un-swaddle your baby when you breast feed for multiple reasons but my goodness those hands are everywhere. Also babies can have sharp finger nails that can really hurt! Sometimes it can be really hard to get them to latch with their hands flying everywhere. However it is important to make sure their hands are free when you feed them because babies actually instinctively push on the breast in different spots to obtain more milk and adequately empty your breast- how cool is that?? If you swaddle them during the feeding you inhibit that natural process and they may not empty it as effectively. Plus they will most likely fall asleep before emptying the breast if swaddled. 

6. Using a Haaka can help you build up a small but effective freezer stash before you have to go back to work 

I had heard a lot of good things about the Haaka prior to having my baby but I honestly didn't realize how much it could help me. I had planned on starting to pump a little extra each day around week 4 to have a slight oversupply so that I could have a small stash ready to go should I need to be away from my baby for a few hours and when I eventually went back to work. However because of what I was able to collect from the Haaka I didn't need to do that. It was so nice to not have to pump extra and just collect extra milk as I breast fed. 

7. Introduce bottles fairly soon if you want them to be able to take a bottle in the future. 

There's not a ton of great advice as to when to start introducing a bottle. A lot of people used to say to wait at least 6 weeks until your milk is established and more regulated.  I would say even if you plan on staying at home and exclusively breast feeding you want your baby to be able to accept a bottle should a situation occur that someone needs to give them one. However I have heard of a lot of babies refusing bottles if they are older than 6 weeks old.  So you want to find a sweet spot of young enough to accept a bottle and old enough that it's not going to interfere with their latch. 

8. Your breasts are sisters not twins- most people have a "slacker boob" 

This blew my mind. You would think that both breasts would produce the same amount right? Wrong- or I guess wrong for most people. I wish I had a better understanding of why this occurs but honestly I have no explanation for it. It's just something to be aware of and know that it isn't anything that you are doing. You can typically figure out which boob is your "slacker" one from pumping and seeing how much is outputted at each session. Some people there is only a slight difference and for others there is a HUGE difference. 

9. Consider getting a travel/ battery powered breast pump but know that it shouldn't be your primary pump 

The invention of travel/ battery powered pumps has been revolutionary for working women. These pumps can be great and can help women to continue to be successful in their breast feeding journey when returning to work. However these pumps should not be used around the clock or as a main source for breast milk. This is because they aren't as powerful as a baby or as an electric pump and therefore will not empty your breasts effectively. If these are used as the primary source of milk removal it can cause a reduction in milk supply 

10. Breastfeeding makes you so hungry and thirsty- especially in the beginning 

It is estimated that the body burns between 500-700 calories per day if you are exclusively breastfeeding. As your body adjusts to this new role it can feel like you can't eat and drink enough. I thought I would be most hungry during pregnancy so it was surprising to me how ravenous I became in my first few weeks postpartum. I would often get headaches if I didn't have enough water that day. To try to combat this I strategically placed water bottles around my house where I spent the most time breastfeeding. 

11. It's ok if you don't lose the rest of your baby weight while you are breastfeeding 

I had always thought that because I was burning so many extra calories that the rest of weight would just melt right off. Well that didn't happen (ugh!) an after some research and asking around it's pretty common. I just try instead to eat healthy and exercise regularily. This is not the time to go on a super restrictive diet- in fact you should be careful because restrictive dieting can reduce your milk supply. Remember it took 9 months to make your beautiful baby and it will take sometime for your body to recover. 

Medically the main reason why this happens typically is because of hormones. Most people during this time are tired and stressed- and not sleeping the greatest-so there is a high level of cortisol in the blood stream. Elevated cortisol levels overtime can lead to weight gain. Also while you are breastfeeding you have a high level of the hormone prolactin circulating in your blood stream. This is required in order for your body to make milk but also has been shown to slow your metabolism and thus make it harder to lose weight. 

12. Things to consider on your registry or purchasing yourself  to help in your breast feeding journey

- Breast Feeding Pillow- This makes a world of a difference and trust me you want to be comfortable if you are doing this every 2 hours for days on end. As your baby gets older they can help position themselves more comfortably but in the beginning this is a godsend. Also get a second cover for your pillow because at some point you will spill milk on it or your baby will spit up on it or both.  

-Nipple Butter- basically chapstick for your nipples- this can be so helpful especially in the first few weeks 

- Nursing bras and other clothes - This is an investment, bras aren't cheap (and if they are they typically aren't that good). How many you need depends on how often you do laundry. There are a lot of "nursing friendly" clothes. Honestly I'm pretty "meh" on these. Most of them that I have found look really stupid. I think it's important to realize that you are going to be wearing these bras/clothes for however long you continue to breast feed for so it's worth it to get high quality bras/clothes. This was something that I didn't think about initially- I was more focused on pregnancy clothes and I didn't think it through  that I would be wearing the nursing clothes way longer. 

Pro tip- buy a few nursing tank tops. If I was going somewhere where I knew for sure I would have to nurse in public I would wear the nursing tank top under my shirt. This way when I would lift up my shirt the tank top would cover my abdomen and back so I wasn't as exposed. 

Nursing cover- this is a personal choice/preference. I have found that there are certain situations in which I don't care to use the cover and other situations that I prefer to use the cover. These come in a lot of cute designs now and can be versatile especially if you are out and about. I've used mine as a blanket and burp cloth in addition to a cover. 

Baby Nail clippers- there's nothing that hurts worse than tiny baby daggers scratching your boobs (ok theres probably a lot of other things that hurt worse-like labor and delivery- but still). While their eating is the best time to clip their nails- I usually make my husband do this. 

5 moths old- still falls asleep- but still so precious